Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
