Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
