we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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