Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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