i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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