you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm at about main and main street
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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