Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
