He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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