Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
