I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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