im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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