I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
