it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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