i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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