Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Floor bacon is actually really good
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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