i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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