The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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