I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
