you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
