two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
