:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
