woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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