question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
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