i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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