So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
