I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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