wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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