K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
