I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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