Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
