he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Congratulations! We have a period
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
