Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You made out with two different species that night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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