I wanna passion pit in your ass
it hurts more in the daytime
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just gift wrapped bread.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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