he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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