Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
