So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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