sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
