i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
