Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
