I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
