The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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