the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Pooping to opera.
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