I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
