Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
