Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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