He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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