Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
