I faked an abortion last night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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