Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
