shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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